The Isthmian League’s fixtures computer hasn’t been too kind to us at the start of 2026, handing us three lengthy away journeys in January: Canvey, Ramsgate and Bill & Ricky.
There are two ways to get to Canvey Island: catch a flight from Gatwick or take your chances with the Dartford Tunnel, which past experience has told us can take anything up to eight hours to get through on a Saturday lunchtime. Hence, Big Deaksy and I left on Thursday evening. Just to be safe.
Arriving at the ground before they’d even had a chance to take the padlocks off the turnstiles (you can’t be too careful in Canvey), Big Deaksy and I eventually managed to grab a table in the bar, sat just behind Pitts and his Brains Trust as they plotted the tactical masterstrokes to grab three points.
Big Deaksy says he is something to do with banking, but he’s actually one of MI5’s top sleeper agents, so we were able to get a sneak peek at the masterplan for the first goal that Pitts had scribbled on his tactics whiteboard.
And so it was as we took the lead towards the end of a sodding freezing first half, when Bobby Unwin switched wings for a bit, scampered down the left, saw his cross half-cleared by one of Canvey’s centre-back cloggers, and Alfie Allen nipped in there to wallop us into the lead.
By this stage, we could easily have been one or two up already. Unwin had smacked the joint between post and bar with an early chance, Christian-Law had one snuffed out at the near post, Bassett had arrowed one an inch past the far post from the edge of the box. We were all over them.
Bassett had the best chance of all to put us in front shortly before we actually took the lead. He got through one-on-one with the keeper, but having just received lengthy treatment for thigh knack, he never looked comfortable, spaffing his shot straight at the keeper. He was subbed off at half-time with the injury.
Why did Pitts wait before subbing Danny off? Because he’s got an eye for talent. Shortly after we took the lead, Charlie Walker smashed another presentable chance over the bar, straight at me, stood on the terraces next to former chairman Stu and club sec John Peel. I volleyed Walker’s errant shot straight back on to the pitch with a sweet left foot, and suddenly Pitts saw the answer to his Bassett injury problems. Alas, John had carelessly forgotten to bring a registration form with him, and so we had to go with Devonte West in the second half instead.
My absence was clearly one of the reasons why the second half was a much stickier affair. Canvey weren’t exactly creating chance after chance, but they were pummelling our box with free-kicks, corners and long throws. The kind of tactics you deploy when your pitch looks like Jeremy Clarkson is head groundsman.
John Peel kept mummering about the lads needing to show “character” as he nervously burned through about 30 roll-up fags. It was that kind of half.
We did have chances to nick it. Charlie Walker surrendered a decent chance to shoot, instead trying to slot in Devonte West, but not finding him, and sub Franzen-Jones smacked the post with an effort late on.
But the longer it went on, the more we felt they were going to nick an equaliser, not least after Louis Rogers took a whack to the head after saving a low shot. “I feel for him there,” said the Canvey keeper, turning for a chat with us behind the goal. “It’s one of them where the striker says he has a right to go for it, but he doesn’t.” Jacob Marsden: remember the name. The most honest keeper in non-league. We couldn’t even bring ourselves to slag him off after that.
And so it finally ended after something like six weeks of injury time, with the Rooks packing their first three points of the year in the team bus. Once they’d managed to de-ice the doors, that is.
Lewes: Rogers, Bernal, Burchell, Watson, Kpakpe, Christian-Law (Muirhead), Allen, Bennett (Franzen-Jones), Unwin, Bassett (West), Walker
Subs not used: Deda, Hamouchene
Supporters Club man of the match: Alfie Allen not only scored the goal, he was here, there and every-bloody-where. Honourable mention for Christian-Law too.