It’s not often the condition of the pitch puts a game in doubt in August. Alas, for the inappropriately named Harefield United, it wasn’t massive rabbits that were putting their pitch in danger, but badgers.
Brian May has a hell of a lot to answer for…
Thankfully, the Harefield groundsman managed to plug the divots before kick-off, meaning it was go, go, go for Rooks fans making the relatively long journey to North-West London.
The big away days sort the men from the boys. There was no Youth Wing at Harefield (a last-minute homework panic before school on Monday, perhaps), but the old hands from The Stodgebusters know how to refuel for the road trips. Here are the lads tucking into a light pre-match snack:
The memorial service will be held at Lewes Crematorium next Thursday. No flowers.
Talking of brushes with the grim reaper, it was great to see long-term Rooks fan James Bond back in the away contingent, after his own brush with illness, shaken but (thankfully) not interred.
While the local cafe was pushing The Stodgebusters’ calorie counts into the low millions, some of us were relying on the in-ground catering, and here Harefield offered something unique: a converted ambulance that doubled as both a burger stall and a bar. Never before in 15 years of Non-League Away Daying have I been able to order a double cheeseburger and chips with a gin-and-tonic chaser.
It wasn’t the only remarkable in-stadium facility, either. The ground was surrounded by phone masts, meaning the ground was absolutely throbbing with 5G signal. Even with a fry-up laden Stodgebuster standing between me and the mast, I recorded what I’m certain is the fastest internet connection you’ll find in any football ground in the UK.
With those kind of speeds, the Youth Wing could have done their homework while they watched.
Oh, yes. And a football match took place. Truth be told, it was a bit of a sticky one. The bumpy pitch and Harefield’s tactic of putting ten men behind the ball at all times didn’t make for a thrilling spectacle.
Pitts gave full debuts to Tolu Ladapo and Bank Holiday banger scorer Josh Williams on the wings, and they both threatened to make something happen in the first half, but neither side forced the keepers to earn their corn.
The second half followed a similar pattern, with the Rooks dominating possession but struggling to create an opening, perhaps missing suspended Marcus Sablier’s ability to thread a pass through rear guards.
It felt like Harefield were sitting back, hoping to snatch something with a set-piece, and that’s exactly what they did with a dozen minutes left on the clock. A free-kick from the right was nodded down by one of their big fellas, and it fell to Jayde Crotty to bang home.
With The Stodgebusters already in a deep calorie coma, a hush descended on the away end. But this new set of Rooks don’t throw the towel in easily, and within five minutes we were level. A lovely whipped cross from left-back Jack Enkh landed on Danny Bassett’s bonce. At first it didn’t look like he’d got enough on it, but it glanced into the inside side netting to breathe new life into the travelling pack.
There followed a rather tense ten minutes, with both sides having half-chances to win it. But just as we were heading to the ambulance for a stiff scotch to steady the nerves, the referee called it.
It says something for the standards this new squad are setting that keeper Toby Bull felt the need to apologise for the performance on social media:
After five wins and a draw from our opening six games, I think we’ll let you off, lads.
Lewes: Bull, Warren, Kaiser, Puemo, Enkh, Muirhead, Allen (Jeffrey), Allsopp (Ghannam), Ladapo, Williams (Hutchinson), Bassett
Unused subs: Olds, Davis, Mundele
Supporters Club man of the match: Matty Warren, who picked the pocket of the marauding left winger countless times in the second half, as well as providing poke going forward.