If you thought Storm Eunice was quite enough wind for one spring, the gusts came back for a minor encore this weekend. Both the men’s game on Saturday and the women’s game on Sunday were rattled by strong winds, and so we thought it only right to call on an expert commentator to talk us through the goals. Big Jet TV’s Jerry Dyer will be talking us through the big moments later.

First, well done to the club again for giving the Ukraine tributes as much effort on Sunday as they did the day before. And well done to the Women’s Vets on donation bucket duty, who shook down the 500 or so attendees for a tidy sum. Good work, all.

On the pitch, the Rooks got to kick with the wind in the first half, and for a while there it looked like they might take advantage. Lewes definitely dominated the early period and were unlucky not to notch at least once.

Paula Howells came closest, when her looping, wind-assisted shot bounced off the bar. But if shooting from distance was the order of the day, the rest of the team clearly hadn’t read the script as it was the only pot-shot the Rooks took for the rest of the half.

Not only were they oddly reluctant to shoot from long range, they fluffed their lines from close range too. A corner flicked on at the near post found an unmarked Georgia Timms with a goal gaping at the back post, but she could only slice it wide.

If Lewes refused to take advantage of the wind at their backs, the visitors made no such mistake. They changed their shape at half-time and changed their attitude too. They were much more forward-thinking, hitting long balls into the channels and taking shots from distance, putting pressure on the Rooks’ back line.

The pressure eventually told. Over to Jerry.

WOAH, WOAH. That’s a BIG one down the left-hand runway and it’s got a MASSIVE bounce on it. Steady, steady… Oh, no! It’s bounced straight over Hack’s head and Morgan’s got a run on goal. The defence has parted like the Red Sea and BOSH. That’s a goal. Crackerjack. 1-0 City.

The lead was doubled 15 minutes later, and in some style.

That’s a Morgan coming in from the left. Great engine, plenty of throttle. What’s she’s gonna do with this one? OH MY DAYS. She’s landed that one perfectly. Smashed it like a bull in John Lewis. Keeper had more chance of catching Covid. 2-0. WHAT A BANGER.

The third goal, right at the death, was a little cruel.

Backpass coming in here. Got a bit of weight on it. WAYYYYYY, EASY, EASY. Oh blimey, the keeper’s lost control of it and the striker’s going to land this one with no problem whatsoever. This game’s heading for the departure’s lounge. It’s all over, folks.

Lewes: Hartley, Mason, Hazard, Hack, O’Rourke, McKenna, Howells, Dalton, Porter, Logan, Timms

Subs: Salgado, Cleverly, Cousins, Noble, Longhurst, Cordier, Ashworth-Clifford

Video highlights:

Boyesy’s brilliant photos: