Do you remember that infamous Man Utd game of the mid-1990s, when the United lads trotted out in a John-Major-grey kit, promptly got their arses handed to them by Southampton and then binned the kit at half-time, complaining they couldn’t pick out one other? Well anyone who turned up for the quarter final of the League Cup today saw something similar.
On this occasion, it wasn’t so much picking out players from the crowd that was the problem, it was trying to work out who was on our team. We turned out in the all-black 140th anniversary kit that was launched this week with a sales pitch that was, frankly, a little top heavy on the waffle. Nice kit, though.
Plymouth turned up in dark green tops with black shorts and socks, and the officials were in light green tops with black bottom halves too. Black is clearly the hot colour of 2026, which is terrific news for Supporters Club volunteer Gaz The Hat, who has worn nothing else for the past 40 years.
How the referee let the game start with this sea of black swarming around the pitch is anyone’s guess. I’m told viewers of the video stream were slapping the sides of their computer screens, convinced their monitors were on the blink.
Sanity was restored at half-time when the Rooks were told to change into the familiar red tops, although our players were still in the black shorts and socks. God help the officials trying to work out which limb tripped which in that muddle…
It wasn’t only the kit manager who was having an off day. We struggled right from kick-off, with a combination of Emily Moore’s outstretched fingertips and the crossbar keeping out a very early Argyle effort and Plymouth piling on the early pressure.
The damn was broken in the 18th minute. A misplaced pass in midfield put the visitors in and Phoebie Poole accepted the gift with a solid low shot past Moore.
Plymouth had another effort disallowed and a couple more stone-cold sitters wasted before the break; the Rooks were feeding off scraps. Leah Lane did brilliantly to nick a ball but couldn’t find a teammate as she broke into the box, while Paula Howells tested the keeper from Paul Howells range (about 25 yards out for the uninitiated).
We considered ourselves fortunate to go in only one behind at half-time, but Phoebie Poole should be buying a lottery ticket this evening, because she profited from another stroke of fortune on the hour, with another sloppy Rooks pass putting her in to score her second of the afternoon. A third moments later, when Moore could only palm a long-range shot into the path of Tianna Teisar, sealed the deal.
Plymouth have visited The Pan twice this season and left with seven unanswered goals. Thank God we’ve seen the black of them this season. Sorry, back of them….
Lewes: Moore, Brant, Schreimaier, Banaras (Rowe), Carpenter (Godfrey), Trewhitt (Roche), Howells (Bell), Harvey (Gilligan), Priest, Edwards, Lane
Unused subs: Ferguson, Ginger
Supporters Club player of the match: Leah Lane looked the most likely to do Argyle damage with darting runs at the defence. Alas, she was often ploughing a lone furrow.