Warning: this match report has been edited by the newly formed Lewes FC Supporters Club Diplomatic Corp.
Well, who saw that coming at half-time? 1-0 down at break and playing like ██ ████ ████ █████ ████ ████, the Rooks mounted one hell of a second-half comeback to eventually batter Haringey.
What to say about that first half? ██ ███████ ██████ █████████████ ████ █ ██████ ██ ██████ ███! ███ █████ ██ ██████████ ███ ███ █████ ██████.
██████ ██ ████ ██████ █ Bob Carolgees. ██████ ███ ████ █████ █████████ ██████ ██ ██████. █████ █████ ████ █████ ████. ██████ █████ and the tricksy Walter Figueira pulled it back for Georgios Aresti to give the visitors the lead.
█████ ███ █ ████████████ ███ ██████ ██. It could have been worse too if new boy Lewis White hadn’t made a brilliant saving tackle to prevent Figueira making it two. ████ █ ████ ███ ██ █████ █████ ███ ████ a Ford Cortina with a knackered gearbox.
The closest the Rooks came to getting back on level terms was when a Brad Pritchard shot was palmed back into the path of Chris Whelpdale to pop into the net, but he was at least a yard offside and it was chalked off without protest.
█████ ███ ██████ █ ███████. It was beginning to look like the biggest █████████ for the club since a former director was caught █████ ███ ███ with Michaela Strachan.
Only those with a drinking glass pressed to the dressing room door will know what Tony said to the lads at half-time, but hell’s teeth, did he get a reaction. As Portsmouth Oli said to me at full-time, “if you’d have told me there was 11 different players out there in the second half, I’d have believed you!'”
We got the equaliser straight from kick-off. Deon Moore skipped past a man down the left-hand side, got to the byline, walloped a ball across the face of the goal and Chris Whelpdale was there to thigh it home.
Having had precisely no shots on target in the first half, we were now creating golden opportunities every couple of minutes. Several presentable chances to take the lead passed us by before Whelpdale unleashed a Thunderbastard from the edge of the box that keeper Dillon Barnes could only palm into the path of Ola Ogunwamide, who pounced on the loose ball and gave the Rooks a deserved lead.
Ola was only on the field after the Curse of the Loanee Midfielder struck once more. Marcus Sablier was properly crocked a few weeks ago, and then Luke Dreher joined us last week, only to limp off early in the second half at Whitehawk. Now Welling loanee Lewis White was forced off five minutes into the second half, with an injury that didn’t look the least bit comfortable. We’ve had more loans go wrong than Northern Rock.
Still, the injury didn’t cast a pall as we continued to bang our fists on Haringey’s door, although the visitors certainly had a chance or two of their own to bring things level. No matter, though, as by the 70th minute it was all done and dusted. A nice little interchange of passes between Wood and Whelpdale set the latter through, and the wily old midfielder slipped a low ball in off the inside of the post to put the game to bed.
The fourth was added late on. Ola was clattered in the box and, though the referee took a fortnight off to think about it, he eventually pointed to the spot. Tommy Wood banged it right down the middle, as captured in glorious slow-mo here by terrace phone fiddler Danny Last.
So, 4-1 and – in the end – a splendid afternoon’s work. But ███ ██ did they make us wait for it.
Lewes: Harvey, Elliott, Hughes, Vint, Penney, White (Ogunwamide), Wood, Whelpdale (Murtagh), Olukoga, Moore Pritchard
Unused subs: Panyi, Lumbombo-Kalala, Salmon
Supporters Club man of the match: It has to be Chris Whelpdale, who had a strong hand in three of the four goals. A hat tip too to the Haringey supporters, who kept the noise levels high throughout, even when they were getting spanked at the end.
Boyesy’s brilliant photos:
Match highlights from Your Instant Replay: