The last time we beat Billericay at their place was just over 12 years ago, the 7th December 2013. Brexit was a little-know breakfast cereal, AI was a Speak & Spell and the Youth Wing were still in the cubs.
When this dismal record was being discussed on Facebook yesterday, I was convinced that Jack Walder had scored the winning goal for Lewes on that distant December day. It turns out the trip to Dignitas is looming ever closer, as it was in fact Nathan Crabb who popped in the winner for Garry Wilson’s side. Although judging by Boyesy’s photo album from the game, it looks as though Jack Walder may have been sent off, his teammates restraining him after getting his marching orders.
If Jack Walder sticks in your memory for a game, he had either scored or – more likely – got an early squeeze of the Radox.
Billericay’s been a through a bit of change since then. In those days their ground was a few rusty sheds surrounding a cabbage patch. Since then, of course, they’ve benefitted from the generosity of the much-loved, zen-like philanthropist Glenn Tamplin…
…who entirely rebuilt the ground, laid a 3G, and commissioned a mural for the back of the stand that made you want to vomit your own eyes out.
Of course, Tamplin left Billericay some years ago to continue his missionary work in Sudan, but even without his expensively assembled squad of ex-Premier League mercenaries, we’ve struggled to beat them in recent years. Tony’s boys took a 5-0 hiding there a couple of seasons ago and last season we were walloped 4-2. So it’s fair to say the pre-match chinwag over a pint in the delightful Billericay Brewery involved the phrase “I’ll take a point” more than once.
For the first ten minutes it seemed Louis Rogers was determined to earn that point single-handedly. He made four decent saves in that early period, as we struggled to get a foothold. Eventually we managed to stop them taking pot shots every 30 seconds and started to play a bit ourselves. Burchell blasted a half-chance over, Unwin clipped a shot straight at the keeper, things were starting to happen.
Then we went behind five minutes before the break. The defence only half-cleared a ball into the box and Charlie Ruff walloped a shot from the edge of the box that dinked in off the post. Ruff justice, you might argue.
The second half was much like the first: Billericay putting our goal under more pressure than Donald Trump’s spray tan machine and us trying to hit them on the break. Our chances of breaking their dam were lessened by our lack of forward options. Charlie Walker was named on the bench, but won’t be fit until at least next week according to Pitts’ post-match chinwag, and Danny Bassett was running like his legs were made of matchsticks, clearly carrying an injury. He was withdrawn after an hour, forcing Devonte West to play up top.
They sealed the game with two clinical strikes. We lost the ball in the middle of the park for their second goal and they moved it quickly to Collis to bang in past Louis’s near post. The third was a cross into the box that the menacing Merryfield buried.
There was still time for some late drama. Louis Rogers’ sat nav was on the blink a couple of weeks ago at Ramsgate you may recall, repeatedly straying well outside his box and being somewhat fortunate to stay on the pitch after hauling down one of their lads midway inside our half. Well, the TomTom temporarily went haywire again here, Louis finding himself stranded in No Man’s Land and attempting to deal with a lobbed ball over the top.
He certainly got something on the ball. Whether it was his hand or his head was difficult to see from our distance, but the ref seemed happy to let it go until the Billericay bench went bananas at the lino, and suddenly the officials decided it must have been handball after all. The highlights video will make interesting viewing – and it’s not often you say that about our games at Billericay.
Update: I’ve seen a video of the incident. Louis clearly heads the ball. The officials have been talked into seeing something that didn’t happen.
Lewes: Rogers, Bernal, Burchell, Hamstead (Watson), Kpakpe (Ovenden), Christian-Law, Muirhead (Adbsami), Allen, Unwin, West, Bassett (Jenkins)
Unused sub: Walker
Supporters Club man of the match: We could have been three down inside ten minutes if it wasn’t for some top saves from Louis Rogers. Let’s hope the FA appeals panel are given some work to do this week.